1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Momma Manatee
Me: Ok, how about this. If you take a picture petting a wild manatee, I will show you the picture of that time my father made me be the Virgin Mary in our church’s Christmas pageant when I was 12.
S: I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere near any manatees.
Me: Are you just trying to cover up a traumatic manatee experience that you had as a child?
S: I’ve never seen one in person.
Me: Were you leaning over a riverbank to kiss a manatee, except that you fell in, and the manatees thought that you were their lost calf? Except that you were obviously way too thin for that, so the manatees tried to fatten you up with kelp? So you were in the river, swimming and crying for help, when BAM! the head manatee comes up and starts to lick you, because it thought you were keening “I love you, Momma Manatee!”. This must be why you don’t like to swim!
S: I hate you.
1 year ago
Hummus Games
- Friend: What did you do at work today?
- Me: We played "Put the Lid on the Hummus".
- Friend: ...how is that a game?
- Me: It was just really hard, ok?!
1 year ago
shea sylvia [blog edition]: A Cautionary Tale «
Mom, don’t read this post.
I work in online marketing and it’s no secret that I actively blog, tweet and check in on Foursquare. It’s not just my profession - it’s fun. Social media is largely responsible for some of my closest friendships. I’ve never felt unsafe participating and generally…
via sheasylvia
2 years ago
2 years ago
For All You Vadar Haters Out There…
I want these so I could say “Luke…you won’t be the father” every time I pull one out. First, I’ll have to find a guy named Luke…
2 years ago
2 years ago
Yesterday, I came home to the place where creativity dies - i.e. rural Ontario. Desperate to find something to do, I went on a walk around my street to pick up the mail, which is 2.3 km from my house. When unlocking the mailbox, I accidentally somehow got between a goose and its babies.
Needless to say, I was chased home by a goose, and have liberal peck marks all over my legs. Don’t believe me? Ask the neighbours who watched the goose chase me 2.3 km home.
flickr photo cred: Bruce Lemon
2 years ago
“Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost.”
- BNL, Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Nothing beats a Barenaked Lady who raps about Kingston sewers. Definitely the most friendly concert I’ve ever been to.
photo cred: @kat1202
